Guys. I struggled through that last post. All day long I thought about sitting down tonight to write a blog post.
I’m not exaggerating. I thought about it all. Day. Long.
I was going to be so funny about my running attempts. I was going to talk about how I’m 97% certain that I look like a hippopotamus running on hind legs and clawing at the air to propel myself forward when plodding down the sidewalk.
Wait wait wait, I don’t say this because my belly is larger than it should be (although, it is, there is a reason I wanted to get in shape in the first place), I say it because that IS what I look like.
I was going to reminisce on how you’d be wasting your money to cross the Columbia into Washington for a dime bag of Vantucky’s finest weed (do dime bags exist? did I just call Vancouver Vantucky? Does that make me a local?) because a brisk run along the Waterfront Park in Portland provides you with enough 2nd hand smoke to leave you feeling pretty good and jonesin’ for a slice at Sizzle Pie.
I was going to give you a play by play account of the tall bike jousting I happened upon one sunny afternoon. I’ll give you a hint, it’s better than any jousting you’ve seen at Midieval Times.
I thought ALL DAY about this. And then I failed on my delivery.
I just didn’t have it in me. I tried… you have to believe me when I say “I tried”.
I left the post and immediately went over to Facebook and left droplets of entertaining quips all over the place. I felt bad and had to come explain myself. I’ll do better next time.